Scotto's Wall Scrawls

Half the time I have something to write about I can't figure out how to go about doing it. I'm not in the "writing" mood right now today, however, I am in the "having something written" mood, so I just can't please myself. I just sat for about 20-something minutes trying to decide if I was gonna write anything or not, listening to Atom Heart Mother...I know it was twenty something minutes cause the song just ended...and trying to talk to myself in (cue freaky organs...) Crazy Anne Heche Speak like Celestia.. Sometimes I even understand what I'm saying. I'm not gay, nor am I crazy, though... just fun to simulate a fake self-language, in the style of hers.

This afternoon I was sitting in my chair, minding my own business, when out of nowhere I hear this quick pung! (midway between ping! and pong! I'm thinking). I have no idea what caused it, but I know it leapt from the parking lot outside...well, I think so.

Last night, after my sweetheart went to bed, I went out and bought groceries at Publix and purchased there a single unit of my favorite hard-to-find fruit. ( like others more, but it's rare when I see these.) A pomegranate. I've spent the better part of today with my treat, picking out one tiny seeded juice sac at a time, sucking it through my teeth to get all luscious bits, and spitting out the seeds. I love pomegranates. This is my first in quite a while. I can't seem to find them ever at the green grocer, or Winn Dixie, probably because I'm the only one who likes them. I suppose if we have to invent seedless grapes and seedless oranges... It's too wet here to grow them locally, but they're tasty.

Interestingly, the French word for pomegranate is grenade.

I may have a little kitchen experiment tonight, because I've stumbled upon a Middle Eastern/Turkish recipes website. I think I'll make myself a slightly modified aijet beythat. That's sautéed hard-boiled eggs (new to me) with butter, cinnamon, white pepper, paprika, and salt. It looks good!

Spooktacular Cinnamon Halloween Cookies
Ingredients:

2 cups flour
1 cup non-sweetened butter
1 pound fresh cinnamon
2 turkey necks
12 oz. Ground beef
3 tsp. Sugar


These wonderful treats take a little bit of effort, but the smiles you see when you hurl them at strangers are more than worth it.

First, combine your flour, vanilla, butter and bees wax in a large bowl. Mix until it is the consistency of chilled nitrobenzenamine.

Next, remove golf-ball sized clumps of the dough, and shape it into fun Halloween shapes. Since this is your first time, try something simple, like witches. You'll need some basic sculpting tools to get the shape right (like I said, it takes a little work!).

A toothbrush can be used to capture the exact texture of the witch’s hair. A toothpick or a needle can be used for finer details, like the thread holes on her coat buttons, and the wart on her tiny little nose. Be sure to shape the face into a scowling expression, and add fun little details, like minute scratches around her neck where perhaps some witch hunters tried to hang her once. To get accurate details, you can go to your local library and research witches. An excellent reference is D. B. Cumming's "Witchcraft and Legend: Separating the myth from fact in American folklore" by Waldorf Press, published 1995 with a forward by Sandra Bernhardt.

After six or seven hours, you should have your first witch cookie ready for baking. Repeat this step with the remaining four dozen cookies.

As a side note, as you get better at making your fun cookie shapes, you can try more complex ones, such as a little cookie dough skeletons that actually laugh and threaten to consume your soul. I've been doing this for a while, so now my cookies are shaped as abstract ideas. This year my cookies are going to be shaped like trepidation.

Now that you have your little army of witches, take an ordinary rolling pin, cover it in flower, and flatten them all out. They should be a nice round cookie shape, about 1/4 inch in diameter.

Sprinkle on your cinnamon, until it is a layer about 1/2 inch thick. Grease a cookie sheet and give it to a friend for safe keeping.

Bake your cookies for 12 minutes at 375 degrees. Serve them while they're warm, if possible, and watch the sugar-induced happiness come alive!

Keep practicing, and you'll be ready for the coming October holiday!

Happy Halloween!

STUCKEY'S PECAN LOG ROLLS

1/4 C. corn syrup
1/4 C. water
1 1/4 C. sugar
1 egg white
1/8 tsp. cream of tartar
1 tsp. vanilla
1 (14 oz.) pkg. caramels
3 T. water
2 C. coarsely chopped pecans

Line a 9 x 5-inch loaf pan with buttered wax paper; set aside.

Combine corn syrup, water and sugar in small heavy saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until sugar dissolves and mixture comes to a boil. Wash down side of pan with pastry brush dipped in hot water frequently, to remove sugar crystals. Add candy thermometer. Continue to cook until mixture reaches the hard-ball stage (255ºF).

Meanwhile, beat egg white and cream of tartar with heavy duty electric mixer, until stiff but not dry. Slowly pour hot syrup into egg white, beating constantly. Add vanilla extract. Beat until candy forms soft peaks and starts to lose its gloss. Spoon fondant into prepared pan. Cut into three strips lengthwise, then crosswise in center. Freeze until firm.

Line a baking sheet with wax paper, set aside. Melt caramels with water in small heavy saucepan, over low heat, stirring occasionally. Arrange pecans on waxed paper. Working quickly, drop 1 piece of the frozen fondant into melted caramels to coat. Roll in pecans to completely coat. Place on prepared baking sheet to set. Repeat with remaining fondant pieces, reheating caramel mixture if it becomes too thick. Cut logs into 1/2-inch slices. Store in the refrigerator in an airtight container between layers of wax paper or freeze up to 3 months. Makes six 5-inch rolls.

Scotto's treat to himself today -

Sunflower Bread

If you don't have a machine, you can make this bread using the old-fashioned method.

1 cup water
1-1/2 cups unbleached bread flour
1-1/2 cups whole wheat flour
2 tablespoons each wheat berries and wheat germ
3 tablespoons shelled sunflower seeds
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon canola oil
1 package dry active yeast, (2-1/2 teaspoons)

Place ingredients in bread machine in order listed. Set to regular cycle or follow the manufacturer's instructions for your bread machine.

Makes 12 slices.
PER SLICE: 153 CAL (18% from fat), 5g PROT, 3g FAT, 27g CARB, 91mg SOD, 0mg CHOL, 2.8g FIBER
Source: Veggie Life Magazine

invisibella had an interesting idea for the oven... something special for Newton...

What can you bake in an oven that's suitable for kitty eating? I don't think he'd eat baked fish... any ideas?

Corn Chowder

Ingredients:

1 chopped onion
6 cups fresh or frozen corn kernels
3 cups veggie broth
1/2 cup chopped red bell pepper
1/2 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon chopped basil
cayenne to taste

Instructions:
Saute onion for 5 minutes or until tender.
Add 4 cups of corn kernels and saute for 4-5 minutes until translucent.
Add 2 cups of veggie broth and cook until corn can be mashed easily with a fork about 20 minutes.
Transfer the contents of the pan to a blender and puree until smooth.
Return the puree to the saucepan over medium-low heat.
Add bell pepper, rosemary, thyme, black pepper, cayenne and remaining 1 cup veggie broth and 2 cups of corn.
Stir, cooking for 10 minutes or more until thick and creamy.
Garnish with chopped basil.

Makes 6-8 servings

Prep time:5 minutes

Cook time:35-40 minutes

Very straight-forward. Not for the squeamish.

http://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/e-sermons/butcher.html

Hardened Cheddar Lasagna
Ingredients:

4 tubes epoxy resin
4 12 Oz. blocks Cheddar Cheese
4 12 Oz. blocks Mozzarella
2 Tsp. fresh chives
1 lb. meat of your choice (I use soy)
2 boxes dried lasagna noodles
1 box Prego powdered Pasta Sauce

This is another one that takes a little time, so plan ahead!

First, set aside about six hours to grate your 8 blocks of cheese. DO NOT buy pre-shredded cheese. That's cheating. Once you have the cheese finely shredded, pile it into your ChefMaster Cheese Compressor. Turn it on.

After 20 minutes or so, the compressor will have formed the shredded cheese back into neat blocks, just the way you bought it. Lay them into your lasagna dish.

Next, layer your UNCOOKED noodles, powdered sauce, and meat over the cheese. Meld the ingredients together using the epoxy. The uncooked lasagna should now be about four inches high. Using a second pan, smash the ingredients into a dense layer about one inch thick. Remember: with this recipe, DENSITY IS THE KEY.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Now, we want to give the flavors a chance to blend before we cook our lasagna. Let the lasagna sit on the counter uncovered for five years.

Now, check your oven to be sure you have reached the ideal temperature of 350, then pop the lasagna in for 45 minutes. Remove the lasagna, and cool it quickly by placing it in your CookWell Centrifuge. Spin it at 8,000 RPM's for 30 minutes, or until cool. Be careful! Those edges are sharp!

Next, you'll need to discourage your lasagna. Shout hateful insults at it for 15-20 minutes, at the top of your voice. Then give it a good, long stare. Try to stare at your lasagna in complete silence for at least two hours.

As an optional step, you can decorate the top of your lasagna with a blowtorch, or serve it immediately. The lasagna, which now has a density approximately 150% greater than titanium, can be used as a super-durable welcome mat, or hung around your neck as a bullet-proof vest.

Enjoy!