Scotto's Wall Scrawls

I am so ready for the weekend.

Originally published at The Scotto Grotto. You can comment here or there.

atw man and his cigar smoking monkey friend on a tandem bike tonight after saigon palace with bhk and chris

Tomorrow I go to the doctor for a review and another epidural. Hopefully I'll get a lead on something for my nagging cough.

Went to go see the Hulk movie (I'm sleeping in until 7:30 tomorrow, so I can pull it off) - It was a whole lot better than what I was expecting. BHK liked the movie more than Iron Man, and I am certainly more sympathetic to Banner - I feel that Iron Man was better acted and had better effects, but Hulk was more enjoyable overall - I didn't mind the CGI Hulk and Abomination at all.

Watched the 2nd episode of Middleman, and it was a lot smoother than the pilot. I'm enjoying it so far.

Nasty thought, resulting from last weekend's dining out - "Crab dip stuffed crust pizza". I bet it would make a mint along the Chesapeake... sprinkle a little old bay seasoning on the pie, and I suspect that you've got Maryland gold.... and I've got a tummy ache just thinking about it.

Joke of the day -


Well, BHK thought it was funny, dear journal.

Forget about the joke and just gaze into the eyes of telekinetic monkey. Ooeeeooooeeeoo! I hope he uses his powers for good!

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Got this in the mail at work - That's pretty cool of the building to do for the critters.

The saying is something like: "Don't ever come between a Mother and her babies"

Well, here in Calverton, it's proving to be true.  There is a Mother 

Eastern Kingbird nesting in one of the trees in the back parking lot (*)

that has felt a little threatened by some of our staff members. She's

even attacked a few staff members. (thankfully, they are OK)

(*)She's in one of the trees at the right of the rear entrance in the

first island that is parallel with the building. Currently, 8:45 a.m,

there is a black truck parked near "her" tree.

PLEASE DO YOUR BEST TO STAY AWAY FROM THAT TREE AREA AND LET HER HATCH

HER BABIES.  WE DON'T WANT ANYONE HURT BY HER PROTECTIVE INSTINCT AND WE

DEFINITELY DON'T WANT HER TO ABANDON HER NEST.

Kate Flint did some research and found out some facts about Eastern

Kingbirds:

*   The Eastern Kingbird is highly aggressive toward nest predators

and larger birds. Hawks and crows are attacked regularly. A

kingbird was observed to knock a Blue Jay out of a tree and cause it to

hide under bush to escape the attack. 

*   During the summer the Eastern Kingbird eats mostly flying

insects and maintains a breeding territory that it defends vigorously

against all other kingbirds. In the winter along the Amazon, however, it

has a completely different lifestyle: it travels in flocks and eats

fruit. 

*   Parent Eastern Kingbirds feed their young for about seven weeks.

Because of this relatively long period of dependence, a pair generally

raises only one brood of young per nesting season.

http://www.birds.cornell.edu/AllAboutBirds/BirdGuide/Eastern_Kingbird.html

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1 year ago - voice post, pictures of Danny, BHK and me, sea shells and fountains and a truck

2 years ago - bus stop view in broward, peter gabriel, danny brief

3 years ago - sleep, mai-kai, danny, cleo2525, RJD2 - 1976, whale burgers, liverank, orange newt pic, entp

4 years ago - gmail bids low, my nightmare '08 prez ticket, aventura mall w/danny (& pics)

5 years ago - graypumpkin / danny / rik update, blogpulse, vampire rank, gali, booth mgt sys, gaming memories

6 years ago - Scotto is.....(google), Francesco issues, Bed Sizes, Rate my kitten

7 years ago - evil news, game poll, fight poll... (One of my fave theoreticals), weather, crayon poll, a little mush, What's in the kitchen?, shaving poll. (I must've just discovered the poll feature)

8 years ago - no-thang

I still feel pretty-lousy, but went in to work - too much needs to be hands-on today - meetings, etc.

My shoulder muscles and ribs / stomach are all especially tender from the coughing. I'm being extra lazy with my entries until I feel more up to speed.

BHK made pizza tonight... I had two slices of green pepper and cheese. First real food eaten since Sunday. It was delicous, but I couldn't consume more than that... or any pie for fear of retribution.

I can't imagine a homemade blueberry pie lasting a week in my house. I must've been terribly sick, indeed.

Cut and paste links ahoy!

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Three stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame have gone to the dogs, so why can't Cheeta the chimp get some love? The animal actor, whose credits include the 1967 comedy "Dr. Doolittle" and the "Tarzan" movies, is trying for the seventh time to get a sidewalk star and become the first monkey to get the honor. His handlers have launched an online petition to get supporters to urge the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce to give him a star in 2009.

The 76-year-old chimp, who the Guinness World Records has called the oldest living, non-human primate, is retired and lives in Palm Springs. Cheeta also has a MySpace page. (see also - http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/GoCheeta/ )

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John McCain wants to kill folks on dialysis.

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This video - A Washington DC news crew goes down to Union Station to interview someone from Amtrak about people who have been stopped from taking pictures even though there's no policy against it. As the Amtrak spokesperson is explaining that there is no policy against photography, a guard comes up and tries to stop them from filming, saying it is against the rules.

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1 year ago - justice frozen in carbonite pic (taken at the courthouse where I was married... and across the street from where I worked)

2 years ago - chatting with tomi & tina, redd foxx fairly suxx, many mp3s, cat trees bear, the hoff sings, weather

3 years ago - sleepies, bro on upswing, free lunch, tropical storm Arlene, ice cream truck music, newt, bus stop and pics, Coprology, hurricane, I spy

4 years ago - hungry-boy, Shambhala, lawn chair boat, Alan Yu vs. the invisible shrinking psi-agents.

5 years ago - good ol' days, There-stuff, mummy locator

6 years ago - wonder twins movie optioned, Baiso, Rose Red, Bunko Shenanigans

7 years ago - Uddercream, Eugene Mirman, evil news, lit-quiz, chachi and opium

8 years ago - bubble, simple

It's the Weekend!!!

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NASA is bracing for “seven minutes of terror,” when an unmanned craft landing on Mars may wake a dormant robot army that could rise up to invade and crush our civilization… oh, wait. They’re saying the space ship might tip over. That’s all.

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Spent most of the day shopping for a new couch and a new bed - found the bed we wanted at a decent price - we pick it up tomorrow, and our old bed goes to the blue house for storage. We have a new Queen Size pillow top marshmallow (but firm) - feels good at the store - can't wait to try it at home.

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Gaming in my brain -

Next game I want to pick up is Hive. (with the mosquito ) I like the insect theme and bakelite tiles a lot - I'll have to see if Aardvark can order it for us.

Unlike the US government, Hasbro lets you print out your own Monopoly money. There are PDFs for 1,5,10,20,50,100, and 500 dollar bills.

Good for any money-handling game, really. Witch Trial comes immediately to my mind. (which uses our monopoly money more than monopoly does)

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From New Scientist Tech: (or, a better use of a Newt/Pye cam?)

To try and develop a more sophisticated model, the team recorded the responses of 49 individual neurons in a part of a cat’s brain called the lateral geniculate nucleus (LGN). The LGN receives and processes visual information from the retina, via the optic nerve, before sending it on to the cerebral cortex.

The data made it possible to build a software model of the LGN that can approximate how the neurons would respond to real scenes. The model was tested against scenes recorded from a “catcam” camera attached to a cat’s head.

“We chose the catcam because it was the most natural stimulus we could think of, the closest to what a cat would see when walking around,” Matteo Carandini told New Scientist. Because the catcam footage lacked elements moving independently from the rest of the scene, the researchers also used a scene from Disney’s animated film Tarzan.

The model’s predictions proved to be 80% accurate when shown artificial scenes, but this figure fell to 60% with the natural scenes or the Tarzan movie.

The ultimate goal of the research, still years distant, is to develop an implant that uses visual data to directly stimulate the LGN of blind people whose optic nerve or retina has degenerated from lack of use.

“For these people, a prosthesis in the eye doesn’t help,” Carandini explains. Only people who have recently become blind can benefit from such implants – currently being tested in humans – that stimulate the retina or optic nerve

Work on monkeys last year showed it is possible to stimulate the LGN using electrodes to alter their vision, something previously thought impossible. Software models like that developed by Carandini and colleagues would be vital for an implant to stimulate the right neurons to create a mental impression of vision.

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1 year ago - birth control, thursday, Catching up with TD, good stuff, gp and kat vanishment

2 years ago - man-bear, joker laughs, day off, but on call, if meme

3 years ago - Simple short film expressing life and death, first auto-post, bears, MP calls me, zombies, rapture, flip top box, cannibal, birthday meme, RIP Thurl Ravenscroft, 6 questions meme

4 years ago - robo-scotto, LLAP-Goch, arms, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Fire Cracker Labels, freaky man-made island, bro

5 years ago - yale bombing, kiwano, doodle fizzles, D & I in There

6 years ago - dead picture trail links, bad dreams, re: pus jars, long weekend, train and bus smells, wondering what sci-fi geeks will watch with Buffy and x-files gone. Hm... I guess smallville is it? I don't watch much regular TV, ikkyu poem, ARQuake.

7 years ago - blue rosebuds, gnomon, Herman the human mole, word association, evil news, scottsquatch returns, jelly jack, Joel gorilla

8 years ago - my first user icon - ,Heather outs Alex as a cheater and a bisexual (remember kids, post something publicly on the net, and the world can see it, even people you know.)

Dreamt last night that we were touring a pair of Monasteries - Tibetan style, Buddhist things. Apparently, I wasn't too interested in the firs tone, and had to rush to the second before the bell rang - doors would lock and wild dogs tore apart anyone not inside one of the two feuding temples when the bells summoned them.

The ground between the two buildings slid and shifted... I (much more nimbly than I might've in waking life) leaped from stepping stone to stepping stone, avoiding too-clear water that was running thickly, like syrup. Once on the second place's stairs, the dogs curled up and went to sleep.

The building itself was very nifty - all sorts of oddities inside, not unlike a Ripley's. One was closed off with a curtain - a skeletal mammoth with an elephant-sized, but human shaped skull - save for a single tusk/horn curling upwards from the tip of the chin area of the mandible. I went to take a picture of it, but a guard (I don't recall his garb - if he was a mall security type or a warrior-sort.. I just knew he worked there, wasn't just some guy) told me that it was forbidden. He then smiled at me, took a picture with his cell phone and was promptly gored by the skeleton. The tusk tore a rip in him from crotch to throat and where he opened up, rose petals fell until the body was just an empty skin.

A different member of the monestary showed up and apologized to me - I couldn't attend service, because the priest was shorter than me. However another fellow, taller than me would be available to walk me through services on Tuesday, at 8:30. I asked if he meant morning or night, and he laughed... "Don't you work? - it's at night.. it'll be 8:30 pm to 10pm, then there'll be snacks, bell ringing and wheel turning. Does your wife dance?"

I said that she did, though we really have never been.

I've never been to a Tibetan monastery... now, I suspect that I'll be a bit disappointed.

After telling her about it, BHK says that I'll never get hot dogs grilled with onions and green peppers for dinner again. I hope that's not the case.

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ok these are awesome: http://www.instantrimshot.com/ and http://www.sadtrombone.com/

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I just noticed that it's the anniversary of my father's death. It was ages ago... I miss him, now that I think about it, but I haven't really had him in my thoughts much in recent times. I wonder why... I wouldn't have realized if I hadn't seen the archives, at least not until I saw 5/15 on my calendar at work, I guess.

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1 year ago - Father's Death Anniversary, Mom hears from Bro re: his sentencing, my challenges, happy to be "up north" and out of FL, people who have moved, more shaved ice (with pix)

2 years ago - bird flu / monkey pox, walkabout, podcasts, newtcam pics, jack lemmon, hoot, saucermen, exploding pants, bus ride poll, hail,

3 years ago - MP gift, pabst t, won rum, don lapre's vitamin, personality defect, walkabout pics, monkey at large/safety in numbers, vampire sugar fuel cell, florida medicine is stupid, I smell good

4 years ago - first palm doodle on new palm, wireless sync, pics from houstons (hypno-orb), Library of Alexandria Discovered, Bones Found In Bag At Florida Cemetery

5 years ago - palm doodles, dreams / reflections on the old crew, chicken hawk cards,mailbox mystery, lunar eclipse, first use of publix grocery deliveries,Teen Girl Squad #3

6 years ago - saw waking life, dream thoughts, prep for star wars expedition

7 years ago - evil news, tumor thoughts, astley gives me defective hardware, humors,hunger-poll, Tsarist Russia photos in color, Paid users get fasterservers, Florida Joke

Garage sale across the down today after shots... Our first blush on the way to the doctor wasn't that successful.. saw old clothes and lots of little bits of junk here and there. Quickie lunch at Mexico and then back to the town to shop. 

Our hope was to find some good furniture - nothing amazing really stood out. BHK asked what I'd want to see at my ideal yard sale... my response was a mummified monkey head, some old heathkit robots maybe, and maybe a retired super-scientist's collection of prototype death rays and forcefield belts. 

What we did was pick up a few dvds, more than a couple of "chick lit" books, wall art, a teaching chess set, two toy robots and A ROBOT MONKEY !

We didn't spend more than $20 total for the lot - The 'bots were the bulk of the cost, at $4.50 each. Puzzles were a quarter, dvds a buck a pop, and books were a big bundle for $3.

Came home, chilled out and enjoyed BHK's nom nom nommy thai cabbage soup. 

Forgot to mention that yesterday also heralded the arrival of our blue robot boy to pair up with our pink robot hula girl. The girl is cuter, but they make a fine little dancing pair.

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1 year ago - calvert coworkers, 6 months thoughts, palm doodles, mr mind, pollen

2 years ago - world history, folkvine, pocket charger, jw cordon

3 years ago - Egyptian origins, clown confession, big brown bear, trix returns to simplicity, hugs, fleet week, chitchat w myid8myego, kind entry, country bears movie, human gene in rice, funeral dance, FL gun law self defense, energy crisis, Cheney & Abadullah

4 years ago - Godchecker's Mythology Encyclopedia, Andy Griffith factoid, CS out, Cute Newt Pic

5 years ago - seafood fest, gift exchange

6 years ago - Foomy goes poof, nifty human tricks, Quick little story, full moon thoughts, Prof. Eben Norton Horsford.

7 years ago - bricolage, misc news, email tags, lj burp, uck, how to catch a polar bear, prezzies

Happy first day of Spring!!

 

Egg-dying went well... the white spots denote 4 eggs that cracked, and the ones TM took home for herself and MO. Adam took one - he'll be giving it to a girl at school - and he certainly enjoyed the fajitas that BHK made. Larry and Chris (and mostly Adam and Tina, too) spent the bulk of the visit glued to the tube while BHK and I did the majority of coloring. My faves are the family eggs (there's a Scotto, BHK, Pye and Newt in the mix) as well as a couple of oddballs - speckeld ones and hot pink / green... both of which are more vibrant than this photo shows. more in depth pictures later, possibly.

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GP's got me interested in Encounter Critical. It's by S. John Ross, an added bonus (I dig the mechanics of Risus, though I've never played it.)

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twitterwise, I'm on the Orange Team. icons when in civilian duds, and on team business.

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How could I choose another color?

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I really want the cell phone legislation banning use of a handset while driving in Maryland to pass. The beltway is rough enough without people crimping necks and not looking at the road. Whatever happened to the idea of pulling over to talk?

I'd love to see some sort of magic technology that blocks non-emergency cell phone use in the driver's side of a car while the wheels are moving.

Same goes for the front-seat DVD players, and audio systems that go louder than a range of safely hearing what's going on outside of the vehicle, as far as I'm concerned. Color me a fascist, but I don't need anyone being more distracted than they already are... If I could find a way to implement a breathalyser / urine tester for safe driving, I'd probably do that, too. And bumper-transponders that forbid tailgating based on the speed of the vehicles in question.

Heck, just use my magical wishing ring to stop all accidents - one of my characters, miniMAX first developed his size-changing abilities by trying to develop desolidity tech for vehicles... they never crash into one another!

After all those years, I still want a hyper-intelligent 4-inch tall talking ape to be my lab partner in fighting crime and solving the world's ills... or clean, safe teleportation technology. Or a magic wishing ring that can put people in protective bubbles, and heal them when they're hurt.

Thoughts about this is coming from the fact that I'm having trouble feeling a lot of sympathy for TM's uncle.... he apparently tried to kill himself by driving his car into oncoming traffic. Seriously... I understand being in pain and lashing out, but there are *PEOPLE* driving and acting as passengers in the other cars! If you want to off yourself, I have no problem with that... but leave everyone else out of it.

I feel bad for TM, though - she's been dealing with his nonsense for a long time, and right before this happened, she blew him off via the phone, and her other family did the same. I don't know all the details, but I hope that once he's out of the hospital he gets worthwhile treatment, and a maximum sentence for attempted suicide / attempted vehicular homicide / assault with a deadly weapon(car). I know his head is full of bad wiring, but I'm finding it very hard to forgive his behavior, no matter how sick he is. I just have to understand that he's not in his right mind, and hope that he is removed from driving and doing anything that can hurt anyone else until he is sufficiently repaired.

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50 things I've done meme continues with item 38. I...

38. 'have written 9200 journal entries prior to this one, the vast majority of them posted publicly to the world. Some entries are only a line or two long, others are entire short stories, continued across a few posts, because each entry only holds a maximum of 65,535 bytes. (That's about 16,000 4-letter words.) The journal will be 8 years old in just under two months.

39.'has owned scottobear.com since 1998... that was 10 years ago, March 12. It will need to be renewed again before March 11, 2013. I've got some time to scrape up the money to do so... it's pretty dang cheap. My website's look has changed a few times over the years, as has the content under the hood... it is quite due for a fresh coat of paint, and a revisit to the links contained inside. I started my first website with ol' geocities in 94-ish, back when it was free, and before it was owned by yahoo. that arcane url is lost to me, maybe forever? Who knows if I can dig it up form the web sometime? either way, it was migrated to scottobear.com about 4 years later, and has remained there ever since.

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From assorted sources (vchip, mgk, time) - a photo series of rival Kenyan tribes fighting for land with bows and arrows.

Look closely. This is Kenya, specifically a hill overlooking the Olmelil Valley, where Maasai warriors are clashing with members of the Kalenjin tribe on a regular basis. The tribal violence is a depressing comment on a country that only a year ago was promoted as a stable democracy in volatile West Africa. TIME has an interesting photo journal of the battles.

“We were using swords but they were not effective,” says Sylvester, 24, slashing a knife in the air. “In a day we can make between 80 and 100 [arrows],” he adds, refusing to give his last name out of fear. Community members pool money together to buy the necessary tools in secret; the arrows are then distributed within the neighborhood. Local leaders know about the arrow factories, but police forces do not.

"Victims with arrows, sometimes poisoned, lodged in their heads and chests have become increasingly common", say officials in Rift Valley hospitals.

"We cannot know the time of day when they (Kalenjins) will come. If they catch you off guard, you're dead," says Samuel, 25, holding a bundle of ready arrows.

Kalenjin elders train their boys how to use bows and arrows from an early age, the Kikuyu men say. But Kikuyus have had to learn quickly to fight back with the same tools. Several secret workshops employing 50 workers churn out bows and arrows for munition. "We have no other choice for now," he says.

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1 year ago - first full day at the calvert gig, bhk and I go shopping for work clothes, grownup table talk, spam attractive entry

2 years ago - rebis picture, deaf language, chacarron, math, phallic removal, open source, fake cigs as meds, prisoner comic book

3 years ago - Brady Kids welcome the equinox, shamrock shake, cosmic truth, mp3s,experimental gameplay, get your tasty hot sweet potatoes in Japanese,teen kidnappers, good advice, invisible mermaid airfare

4 years ago - openoffice, Visited w Dan, open door poll, people of worth

5 years ago - Al gore, Blue's clues, Cranky Finn

6 years ago - Spring!, Socks, overturned issues, Linda let go from FMM, LJ directory, cool picture link

7 years ago - walkies, 2 chris-sites, both have long since been left dormant, lj broken

Beware the ides of January! Oh, how it snowed today! It went for a brief period, stopped, and then came back, all crazy-like.

I heard that it wasn't going to stick, but it was pretty white out there for a little bit. If it had done its drop after dark, I'd wager there'd have been less sublimation.

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Veggie Meatloaf for dinner tonight... nom nom nom.

I'm glad that BHK doesn't mind my meat-free ways! Larry opted for a fried chicken tv dinner, but Chris was game. I have enough to bring a goodly does for lunch tomorrow, too - with plenty of mixed veggies and peas on the side.

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Detour guide to 1970's TV detectives. This is a pretty good sampling of tv during my formative years.

Random Scotto factoid - For some reason, as a kid, I got Baretta and Columbo mixed up. I got it worked out pretty early, but there was a time that I thought it was the same show.

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We took are time eating and talking... after supper, we're watching a little psych before bed. Stay warm and sleep tight, dear journal.

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VIENNA, Austria - A chimpanzee cannot be declared a person, Austria's Supreme Court has ruled, activists said Tuesday.

An animal rights group had sought to have the chimp, Matthew Hiasl Pan, declared a person in hopes of gaining guardianship of the animal.

The shelter where Matthew has lived for 25 years is going bankrupt, threatening to leave him homeless. Donors have offered to help support him, but under Austrian law, only a person can receive personal gifts.

The Vienna-based Association Against Animal Factories sought to have him declared a person and petitioned to be appointed Matthew's trustee.

But the high court upheld a September ruling by a judge in the town of Wiener Neustadt rejecting the petition, the group said Tuesday.

The rights group said it would take the case to the European Court of Human Rights.

Matthew and another chimp at the shelter, Rosi, were captured as babies in Sierra Leone in 1982 and smuggled to Austria for use in pharmaceutical experiments. Customs officers intercepted the shipment and turned the chimps over to the shelter.

Organizers said they may set up a foundation to collect donations for Matthew, whose life expectancy in captivity is about 60 years.

But they argue that only personhood will ensure that he isn't sold outside Austria.

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1 year ago - moved into the brown house

2 years ago - nudge (I like it now), my latest superpower, electrocution dream, soloing, caribs, pandas make more sense, stardust probe returns,

3 years ago - Jambi back after the great LJ crash of '05, William Schmidt's art, film feminism, chemical weapons, mag knight w/Danny, DVDA

4 years ago - DVD cereal, Mars, cluck cluck cluck

5 years ago - smokies, palm sync, empenadas, Malawi Vampires

6 years ago - nice walk, moody, gave sappho a lj code, midnight pooper, newt patrols

7 years ago - pictures of me with tarpo at No-nose maldanado's, company on the rocks, ramble on humanity, temptation island, super-soldiers, link to 100 Scotto-things

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Dawn was a nice start to the day - red sky in morning, sailors take warning - it didn't rain, but was cloudy throughout the day.

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Thank goodness for UPDATE `INFORMATION_TABLE` SET `MODIFIED_DATE`=NULL WHERE (`MODIFIED_DATE`='0000-00-00 00:00:00')

or update INFORMATION_TABLE set `MODIFIED_DATE`= replace(`MODIFIED_DATE`,'0000-00-00 00:00:00',NULL); for that matter.

That line of code saved me about three hours worth of cleanup. Let a robot do the searching and replacing, eh?

Also, Mini York Peppermint patties. One is just enough.

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more autumn walkabout pics from our weekend - many thanks to BHK for taking most of the better looking photos, and uploading them!

Lots of reds, golds and oranges in our area.

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Mount Airy and Westminster - Historic Graveyard and etc.

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I really like the mail pouch tobacco barn.

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Our picnic view of the blue ridge mountains

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Dinosaurs and the plumbery

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Last bits of hayride and miniature Halloween city.

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Stalin's half-man, half-ape super-warriors (I think I linked to this a year or two ago, but it bears repeating. There are monkeys involved.)

THE Soviet dictator Josef Stalin ordered the creation of Planet of the Apes-style warriors by crossing humans with apes, according to recently uncovered secret documents.

Moscow archives show that in the mid-1920s Russia's top animal breeding scientist, Ilya Ivanov, was ordered to turn his skills from horse and animal work to the quest for a super-warrior.

According to Moscow newspapers, Stalin told the scientist: "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."

In 1926 the Politburo in Moscow passed the request to the Academy of Science with the order to build a "living war machine". The order came at a time when the Soviet Union was embarked on a crusade to turn the world upside down, with social engineering seen as a partner to industrialisation: new cities, architecture, and a new egalitarian society were being created.

The Soviet authorities were struggling to rebuild the Red Army after bruising wars.

And there was intense pressure to find a new labour force, particularly one that would not complain, with Russia about to embark on its first Five-Year Plan for fast-track industrialisation.

Mr Ivanov was highly regarded. He had established his reputation under the Tsar when in 1901 he established the world's first centre for the artificial insemination of racehorses.

Mr Ivanov's ideas were music to the ears of Soviet planners and in 1926 he was dispatched to West Africa with $200,000 to conduct his first experiment in impregnating chimpanzees.

Meanwhile, a centre for the experiments was set up in Georgia - Stalin's birthplace - for the apes to be raised.

Mr Ivanov's experiments, unsurprisingly from what we now know, were a total failure. He returned to the Soviet Union, only to see experiments in Georgia to use monkey sperm in human volunteers similarly fail.

A final attempt to persuade a Cuban heiress to lend some of her monkeys for further experiments reached American ears, with the New York Times reporting on the story, and she dropped the idea amid the uproar.

Mr Ivanov was now in disgrace. His were not the only experiments going wrong: the plan to collectivise farms ended in the 1932 famine in which at least four million died.

For his expensive failure, he was sentenced to five years' jail, which was later commuted to five years' exile in the Central Asian republic of Kazakhstan in 1931. A year later he died, reportedly after falling sick while standing on a freezing railway platform.

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1 year ago - eryx bday, torchwood, stigmata / burger christ, open season, walkabout pics,

2 years ago - wilma approaching, pirate scotto, chakra poll, Terry in Cancun, newt-wiggle pic, torchwood arcticle, newt grump-sphynx pic

3 years ago - Newt entry, voted, bittorrent, 33 questions, randomness

4 years ago - German Dukes of Hazzard, the finger, vanishing penises, prepping for the doctor, spidey-doodle, SA.com gets PMing!

5 years ago - Paper Airplane sim, freebie movies, Dave got a hill giant, Newt head-waggy, Where's George bill comes back, belarc

6 years ago - Walkin' Pneumonia, chat proggies poopin out, 5 hours in ER/pharmacy.. waiting, mostly. palm-stream post

7 years ago - First use of GIANT-SIZE MAN-THING as a joke, Summertime, heavy work day