too much drama in my life?

[scottobear]

ok. more weirdness to add to my current situation. I get a phone call out of the blue from my pal Chase. (I've not heard from her in about 3 months)... apparently she and her girlfriend of 10 years are ready to have a child together. Problematic, as they are both lacking testicles, and want to give birth, not adopt. Enter Scotto. "He's got sperm! and I bet he's not using all of it!" Well. Truth be told, I've just been using it recreationally, and not procreationally... but yeah, I guess so. Here's the deal, they'd just as soon not go to a clinic and pay some guy to take it out of me, and plug it into Chase... they'd prefer the old fashioned, free installation that mother nature provides. Ok. I'm at the "Well, won't there be jealousy, or something from you having sex with me?" part of the conversation... and Chase says, "No, we've talked it out, and you're a nice guy... not emotional strings or anything, and we like what you have to offer...(she rattles off some stuff about me being healthy, etc, I come back with my apnea and back trouble, she says that they'll cope with the advantages over the disads. *egoboo*) Then she mentions that if everything's still cool, that her gf would like to have a baby about a year after the baby is born, and they'd like it if I agree to the first, if I'd agree to that too. Um. Well, let me think abut this, it's pretty important stuff...

that's where I am now. I think she expected me to agree right away, but was happy that I'm taking it seriously.

my immediate concerns are this -

I've really never had sex with someone I'm not attracted to 'as just friends'. The closest I've gotten is some silly stuff with someone I had a crush on, and she was just fooling around, although I took it a little more seriously. It's a good cause, and I'm honored they asked... but I'm not sure what my responsibility to the baby will be, should I draw up some sort of contract? Should I sire a baby with someone else, when I haven't had any of my own kids yet? I don't know what my feelings to a child I'm just serving as donor semen for will be, especially since I'd probably be there with them here and again, visiting.

Something for me to think seriously about.

Comments

jeez

[janedeau.livejournal.com]

scotty, take longer than a week. Take as long as you need.

This may be huge.

I think it is very special that they would choose you for such a big thing. One of the biggest thing ever.

I know that you are very giving and in one way this could be the ultimate gift. But I am just worried about your feelings. I know how much you get along with and love kids. I also think that you would like to have your own someday. Is now that day? Biologically any child you have with Chase would be your child. A little Scott or Scottina. He could look just like you. Feel just like you and if his parents are honest with him about you he or she will want to know you and spend time with you and call you when bad things happen and you will want to be there when all the good things happen. Like birthdays and holidays.

Does this sound good to you? Would you like this? maybe. But do you think it is what Chase and her gf have in mind? And will you really be comfortable having no say in raising the child? You are a man of deep feelings and strong values. And no offense of course, but you are also free with your input. (heh heh) Do you really want to put yourself in this position?

Jeez, I feel like I could go on and on. Listing pros and cons. But I guess what I am really saying is. Take longer than a week. I mean if you got a job to move to Germany or met a girl who you might want to marry or even if you were trying to pick out just the right birthday gift for a friend you might take longer than a week. So take longer. Take as long as you need.

Re: jeez

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

What you say is true, certainly. I don't think a week is long enough to say yes, but it's a good length of time to say no. I hear what you're saying about my feelings, too. (I've had pretty strong differences of opinion with those girls, too, on occasion.) I would love to have input on the childs upbringing, but I don't think that will go over very well with them... and ultimately it will be the decision they make. It's an odd situation for me, certainly, and I'm going to take some time to work it out.