rambling rumble about rambling and rumbling

[scottobear]

Sometimes I weary of being such a behemoth.  I rarely fit places that should accommodate a human being handily. My legs are long… knees often rise high under tables or inside vehicles (even SUV types… I am quite a comfortable passenger in our honda element but driving introduces difficulties like console, pedal and steering wheel placement.)

Crowds recently feel as if they are surrounding me, invading my personal space, being disrespectful and honestly a threat to themselves than yours truly. Walks in the park and in other less congested areas are far less of a crush.

Add to that a broken toe, general body pain due to bad back, and a lot of negative mental feelings lately, and I come back with a picture of Scotto in a variety of unfortunate adjectives : aching, grumpy, nervous, twitchy, anxious, etc. I’m working on improving that situation – the fact that I have to focus on good spirits and kindly demeanor rather than coming by it naturally somehow adds to the stress when I want to go full Godzilla on folks in my path… just stomp and squish, roar and smash until someone trots out a giant robot to try in vain to stop me… before I crush it and trundle off into the sea with a screeching wail.

I know that there a good many people worse off than me… 99.9% of the earth’s population comes to mind. However it seems pain is often the most easily experienced firsthand.

I am so very fortunate to have a loving and understanding wife and family. I look forward to behaving in a manner more along those lines today and in the future. Thinking of them brings me to a peaceful and less painful place, and that helps so much.

Originally published at The Scotto Grotto. You can comment here or there.

Comments

[billijean.livejournal.com]

:( I wish you felt better.

Physical comfort is so important.

[oneeyedcat.livejournal.com]

i can totally relate to struggling to find the blessings and appreciate them right now. feel better scotto, I hope things are brighter for both of us soon. lotsa love all around.