#10,811 It is a Tuesday.

[scottobear]

Hey there, dear journal.

I've come to realize that my writing skills have atrophied terribly. I think some of it is due to being busy, and some due to just lapsing into the lazy convenience of twitter and pictures over content with more substance.

I've taken a few strides toward getting back in the saddle, though there are still quite a few excuses I could make to myself to skip. I'm officially installed at blog.scottobear.com though I will still read my friends list and forward my entries to LJ... I'm too attached to livejournal to turn my back on it.

Pyewacket went to the vet today - he still wasn't doing so well, so BHK drove him to Annapolis, and the doc gave him a tummyful of barium. The vet techs observed him for a bit, and assured BHK that he was AOK. MIL went along, so while they waited, a trip to Tuesday Morning was in order. The vet was one that BHK is very comfortable with - was quite sensitive when Kona was having issues back in the day, too. The outcome after three different x-rays, he sounds like he's doing well, but we're going to keep an eye on him.

I want to repair the crazy-brain.

Lots of anxiety and distress have been appearing to affect my system physically lately...  I'm looking for new  ways to process those feelings.  A worst case situation includes elements of stuttering, sweating, stomach distress, being unable to breathe, panic, anger, irrationality, fear, headache, dizziness and joint pain.

I have to remind myself that it's all just a ride. Not only that, but I have a lot of wonderful blessings in my life - my wife, the lads, good friends... not to mention all of the positive, but intangibles. BHK was thinking it might be a form of ADD - I'm skeptical, but will keep an open mind - if only to seek the best possible remedy to the frequent unpleasantness.

----------------
Now playing: The Beach Boys - I Just Wasn't Made For These Times

I keep looking for a place to fit
Where I can speak my mind
I've been trying hard to find the people
That I won't leave behind

They say I got brains
But they ain't doing me no good
I wish they could

Each time things start to happen again
I think I got something good goin' for myself
But what goes wrong

Sometimes I feel very sad
Sometimes I feel very sad
(Can't find nothin' I can put my heart and soul into)
Sometimes I feel very sad
(Can't find nothin' I can put my heart and soul into)

I guess I just wasn't made for these times

Every time I get the inspiration
To go change things around
No one wants to help me look for places
Where new things might be found

Where can I turn when my fair weather friends cop out
What's it all about

Each time things start to happen again
I think I got something good goin' for myself
But what goes wrong

Sometimes I feel very sad
Sometimes I feel very sad
(Can't find nothin' I can put my heart and soul into)
Sometimes I feel very sad
(Can't find nothin' I can put my heart and soul into)

I guess I just wasn't made for these times
I guess I just wasn't made for these times
I guess I just wasn't made for these times
I guess I just wasn't made for these times
I guess I just wasn't made for these times
I guess I just wasn't made for these times

Originally published at The Scotto Grotto. You can comment here or there.

Comments

[eryx-uk.livejournal.com]

I hope you and Pye feel better real quick.

I've missed your posts on here. I've found I tend to use Facebook more now (though I blame the silly games). Gotta get back to use LJ more often.

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I've missed writing here, too. Hopefully I can get back on the stick.

[calamity.livejournal.com]

It's not ADD. Something is clearly bothering you and manifesting with physical and emotional symptoms. Where are you when these symptoms come on? What time of day is it? What are you thinking about? Who are you interacting with?

I know what you mean about the writing. I went back and looked at my last few journal entries and they are God awful. Once I realized that my journal wasn't a safe place, I just couldn't write anymore.

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

Thank you - I'm not sure what it is, exactly - my anxiety seems to be pretty free-floating, if that's a proper term. The time is usually in the mid-morning, or late afternoon.

[blackhellkat.livejournal.com]

I didn't say the anxiety alone was ADD just that sometimes ADD can be misdiagnosed as anxiety disorder because according to that documentary some of the symptoms can be similar.

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

I want to check out that documentary sometime soon!

[oneeyedcat.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear Pye wasn't feeling well. I hope he is feeling much better by now. Give him extra pets from us!

[blackhellkat.livejournal.com]

260 dollars, a vet that claims he's "super feisty" (translation: he tried to bite her) and a giant hairball poop later and he's running around like his old clownish self. And my mother says we should have kids....BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!