Trouble Brewing for Scotto...

Well, either I made a positive step last night, or I screwed up big time. I confronted April about her feelings for me, basically asked her where she thought we stood. She reacted poorly, as I told her that I was feeling frustrated and less than equal in our relationship. I may have gone over the line when I asked if she was using me. (I really can't tell sometimes what is better asked directly, and what is better phrased diplomatically. I know I prefer someone to shoot straight with me.) Lately it's seemed that I've been actively giving, and she actively taking, but not much on the reverse flow. Before I commit to falling for her any more than I already have, I want to know that my affection is reciprocated, and that she's not just in this for room and board. Honestly, why can't I find someone who gives as well as they get? Am I just being too needy? Feh. For what it's worth, it's been fun having someone to go out with, and talk to late into the night, but I want something that feels more genuine. I guess the next day or so will hold the answers.

I'll try to be more entertaining next post, honest.

Trouble Brewing for Scotto…

Originally published at The Scotto Grotto. You can comment here or there.

Well, either I made a positive step last night, or I screwed up big time. I confronted April about her feelings for me, basically asked her where she thought we stood. She reacted poorly, as I told her that I was feeling frustrated and less than equal in our relationship. I may have gone over the line when I asked if she was using me. (I really can’t tell sometimes what is better asked directly, and what is better phrased diplomatically. I know I prefer someone to shoot straight with me.) Lately it’s seemed that I’ve been actively giving, and she actively taking, but not much on the reverse flow. Before I commit to falling for her any more than I already have, I want to know that my affection is reciprocated, and that she’s not just in this for room and board. Honestly, why can’t I find someone who gives as well as they get? Am I just being too needy? Feh. For what it’s worth, it’s been fun having someone to go out with, and talk to late into the night, but I want something that feels more genuine. I guess the next day or so will hold the answers.

I’ll try to be more entertaining next post, honest.

More tummy trouble.

Man, I feel lousy. I don't like where I am right now, relationship-wise, and job-wise things could be better. I keep forgetting about the hard parts of a relationship, and now my petty mind is harping on all the little chafe-y things that bother me when I'm not love-drunk. Honestly, I was getting by well enough alone, but being with someone is nice, too. I know she's got some sort of family issues, with both parents. I don't know, maybe her behaivior comes from there. The thing is, I don't care where certain behaiviors start from, I just want postive stuff to continue, and negative stuff to cease. Deception and fear only hurt. And I'm feeling pretty low...

More tummy trouble.

Originally published at The Scotto Grotto. You can comment here or there.

Man, I feel lousy. I don’t like where I am right now, relationship-wise, and job-wise things could be better. I keep forgetting about the hard parts of a relationship, and now my petty mind is harping on all the little chafe-y things that bother me when I’m not love-drunk. Honestly, I was getting by well enough alone, but being with someone is nice, too. I know she’s got some sort of family issues, with both parents. I don’t know, maybe her behaivior comes from there. The thing is, I don’t care where certain behaiviors start from, I just want postive stuff to continue, and negative stuff to cease. Deception and fear only hurt. And I’m feeling pretty low…