(no subject)

[scottobear]

To kill a vampire it is first necessary to determine its ethnic origin. I regret that I cannot offer much useful information on how this might be accomplished, but I'm sure you'll think of something.

Next, locate the vampire's daytime whereabouts, i.e., its grave. My vampire manual recommends placing "a young lad who is innocent of girls," such as Richard Simmons, atop a black virgin stallion, and leading the two through a likely graveyard. If the horse refuses to pass a certain grave, you've hit paydirt, so to speak. The telltale signs of a vampirous corpse are fluidity of the blood, lack of putrefaction, and flexibility of the limbs (we're talking about corpses now, mind you).

Finally, administer treatment as prescribed below:

SPECIES - COUNTRY - APPROVED METHOD OF DISPOSAL
Sampiro - Albania - Stake through heart
Nachtzehrer - Bavaria - Place coin in mouth, decapitate with ax
Ogoljen - Bohemia - Bury at crossroads
Krvoijac - Bulgaria - Chain to grave with wild roses
Kathakano - Crete - Boil head in vinegar
Brukalaco - Greece - Cut off and burn head
Vampir - Hungary - Stake through heart, nail through temples
Dearg-dul - Ireland - Pile stones on grave
Vryolakas - Macedonia - Pour boiling oil on, drive nail through navel
Upier - Poland - Bury face downwards
Gierach - Prussia - Put poppy seeds in grave
Strigoiul - Rumania - Remove heart, cut in two; garlic in mouth, nail in head
Vlkoslak - Serbia - Cut off toes, drive nail through neck
Neuntoter - Saxony - Lemon in mouth
Vampiro - Spain - No known remedy

I realize the above will not be much use in the case of a Third World vampire, but you can't have everything.

Comments

[cath555.livejournal.com]

I think I'd much prefer to encounter an irish vampire, as oppossed to, say romanian or even worse, spanish.

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

I'd prefer to encounter a nice slice of chocolate cake.

Re:

[cath555.livejournal.com]

mmmm. yum.

[cath555.livejournal.com]

and isn't the corpse id the same for saints?

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

could be!

Saint Vlad?

[rgladiator.livejournal.com]

Maybe this is why our government is spending money to combat 'Goth' culture??

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

how much could a few lemons and stakes cost?

[kitaryufinn.livejournal.com]

The Lilith one wasn't so much a vampire as it was a pissed demon who had her children killed by Michael (I think, it's been awhile) because she refused to be Adam's mate. All accoring to some old myth.

Interestingly, there was a version of this performed by the Babylonians with a similiar tale, though the names and circumstances were different.

Re:

[kitaryufinn.livejournal.com]

Yep, all permutations of a common theme. I think the myth predates Hebrew myth in one form, but to be honest, it's been ages since I did much in-depth myth reading. I'd have to go and search through books. Maybe something for the weekend to pass the time.

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

I thought she *was* adam's first mate? maybe I'm misremembering my apocrypha.

Re:

[kitaryufinn.livejournal.com]

I may be off, it's been awhile since I've danced down that memory path so to speak. Will see if I can find some info this weekend.

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

I knew you'd be able to add more ot the list. :)