![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scottobeargastrobots.
In the last month scientists have been talking about a new robo-invention-- Gastrobots. It'll soon become a household word used in household sentences like, "The Gastrobots have surrounded the compound! Activate self destruct!" and "The Gastrobots... they... they got Billy Nitro! BILLY!!!"
Gastrobots are robots that run on meat. And I know what you're thinking: "Oh Crap! I'm 94% meat!" Gastrobots can run on almost any kind of food from sugar to vegetables to of course, your laser-blasted skeleton. The inventor Stuart Wilkinson from the University of South Florida found a way to use bacteria to break food down and turn it into electricity. He said that a robot like this could "have an unlimited power supply and be able to exist on its own outdoors," finally fulfilling man's need to watch immortal robots gallop through America's proud pastures. Thanks, science.
New Scientist magazine says one of the first applications for Gastrobot technology might be a lawnmower that runs on grass clippings. Good idea. Give a robot a taste for human flesh, then attach a whirling blade to it. Maybe we could have it fire electrified throwing stars, or lease them out as babysitters when they don't have to mow lawns, Idiot Scientist magazine.
I might be overreacting. At worse, an out-of-control lawnmower will cost us a few hundred thousand suburban feet. Those bourgeois jerks can afford prosthetic feet. And thanks to New Scientist magazine, they can probably get prosthetic feet that run on the owner's ankle meat. Problem solved.
In the last month scientists have been talking about a new robo-invention-- Gastrobots. It'll soon become a household word used in household sentences like, "The Gastrobots have surrounded the compound! Activate self destruct!" and "The Gastrobots... they... they got Billy Nitro! BILLY!!!"
Gastrobots are robots that run on meat. And I know what you're thinking: "Oh Crap! I'm 94% meat!" Gastrobots can run on almost any kind of food from sugar to vegetables to of course, your laser-blasted skeleton. The inventor Stuart Wilkinson from the University of South Florida found a way to use bacteria to break food down and turn it into electricity. He said that a robot like this could "have an unlimited power supply and be able to exist on its own outdoors," finally fulfilling man's need to watch immortal robots gallop through America's proud pastures. Thanks, science.
New Scientist magazine says one of the first applications for Gastrobot technology might be a lawnmower that runs on grass clippings. Good idea. Give a robot a taste for human flesh, then attach a whirling blade to it. Maybe we could have it fire electrified throwing stars, or lease them out as babysitters when they don't have to mow lawns, Idiot Scientist magazine.
I might be overreacting. At worse, an out-of-control lawnmower will cost us a few hundred thousand suburban feet. Those bourgeois jerks can afford prosthetic feet. And thanks to New Scientist magazine, they can probably get prosthetic feet that run on the owner's ankle meat. Problem solved.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
I like it
Date: 2001-03-10 07:59 pm (UTC)Image: a robot that goes through your trash can, consuming organic and certain non-organic materials in order to sweep you driveway or cut your grass or guard your property or vacuum your carpet.
Image: a robot equipped with oil-consuming bacteria cleaningup an oil spill, skimming across the top of water, consuming oil as it cleans the oil and using that oil as food to continue skimming.
Great idea. I wish I had thought of it. Application of commonly available scientific capability to new problems to form new solutions.
Re: I like it
Date: 2001-03-10 08:51 pm (UTC)Re: I like it
Date: 2001-03-10 09:01 pm (UTC)Re: I like it
Date: 2001-03-10 09:06 pm (UTC)Re: I like it
Date: 2001-03-10 09:09 pm (UTC)Re: I like it
Date: 2001-03-10 09:11 pm (UTC)We're thinking on the same lines... put a cow catcwer on the front, toss a pedestrian into your car's gaping, inhuman maw, and you're set for that trip to califorinia!
Re: I like it
Date: 2001-03-10 09:14 pm (UTC)