7279 - Monday
Apr. 4th, 2005 08:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scottobear
Something that seems to keep cropping up. When you apologize, please don't modify it with "but".
Like... "I'm sorry I set your head on fire, but I was cold."
That just kills the whole thing.
You also need to tell the aggrieved party that (a) you recognize that what you did was wrong; (b) you feel bad about whatever wretched thing you did; and (c) you will genuinely do your best not to repeat said wretched behavior in the future.
Seriously, if your apology does not include all of these elements, it will not come across as sincere. It is not sufficient to simply say you're sorry but neglect to change your behavior. Changing the harmful behavior that led to the need for the apology is the most crucial element here; if you exclude it, you may as well not issue the apology in the first place.
Moment of Lyric:
Twinkle little star... in Bulgarian. see link below
April Fool Making Fiends, Now with subtitles. (For those that don't know Bulgarian)
Where To Find Great Free Photographs And Visuals For Your Own Online Articles
Broken people are everywhere. It's like the castoffs pile of a windup toy factory. Some are missing a foot or a need a touch-up paint job, but most have damage in the the clockwork. I saw a sick man shaking a hedge angrily and waving a handkerchief-wrapped hand covered in blood. I saw three 17-20ish year old boys yelling obscenities and rude comments to everyone who walked by. On the bus, there was a man who smelled as if he chose to sauna out the whiskey in his system rather than ever bathe, his hair a single thick, matted dreadlock, caked with whatever it is that makes dreadlocks work. He was dressed in several layers of soiled, heavy clothing... possibly because that was all he had in the world.
1 year ago - 22 questions, DST, Ft. Laud Mellowed, 4-4-4
2 years ago - Met with Meter Made, don't confuse courtesy with subservience, pics for the day, Speedy off CN, Sample McDougald house letter
3 years ago - walkies, dream, taking stuff poll, Moment of Waponi, Killian's, bk veggie (the old one), long music ramble, production meeting at IMT
4 years ago - Slander-drama / resolution (Honestly, I think that part of the issue started from here.) I wonder how that "FBI Investigation" turned out.
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no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 01:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 02:02 pm (UTC)Whatever.
The other one not to say is, "I love you, but..."
no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 02:24 pm (UTC)"I'm sorry, but you deserved it" or "I'm sorry, but thats my choice" are both valid examples IMO.
"I'm sorry, but Newt stole my homework to plan his next round of World Domination" is also a very valid statement. :)
no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 03:28 pm (UTC)Newt is prone to steal homework... he likes to dirve the gpa's down of portential upstarts!
no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 03:30 pm (UTC)That's maybe even worse!
no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 03:32 pm (UTC)Broken People
Date: 2005-04-04 03:32 pm (UTC)Re: Broken People
Date: 2005-04-04 03:37 pm (UTC)addendum?
Date: 2005-04-04 03:59 pm (UTC)I got your point, but point out someone who isn't "broken". Maybe redefine broken? I think we are talking about degrees of disarray. The collective is broken.
I'm sorry. I'm not trying to sound argumentative. This is all Monday morning tongue in cheek.
So where are you on abortion issues? (…kidding)
Re: addendum?
Date: 2005-04-04 04:00 pm (UTC)sorry.
Re: addendum?
Date: 2005-04-04 04:04 pm (UTC)1. I think the first one is an excellent counter. The exception that proves the rule, perhaps.
2. Some of us are more broken than others. To stretch the analogy, some toys you can play with without cutting your hands on the sharp edges.
No argument percieved! *beeg hugs*. :)
If you *really* want to know where I stand on abortion, I'll tell you, and you'll probably disagree with me.
Re: addendum?
Date: 2005-04-04 04:04 pm (UTC)Some people are more obviously broken than the rest of us.
Where are the perfect toys?
Re: addendum?
Date: 2005-04-04 04:17 pm (UTC)just playing. :)
Re: addendum?
Date: 2005-04-04 04:20 pm (UTC)Re: addendum?
Date: 2005-04-04 04:22 pm (UTC)Re: addendum?
Date: 2005-04-04 04:23 pm (UTC)Now *there's* a good reason for an afterlife.
added addendum
Date: 2005-04-04 04:25 pm (UTC)(a) It was wrong of me to read and post without taking the needed time to consider and possibly re-read
(b) I feel bad that I have rushed to posting without concern for your feelings on this matter
(c) From now on I will take better care to pay attention to what I read and absorb the information fully with a re-read.
:)
no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 05:10 pm (UTC)Re: addendum?
Date: 2005-04-04 05:23 pm (UTC)Liek you say, there aren't any real answers on this one, just opinions. I feel that as long as it's her body, it's her choice, all the way to term. (Which is the upsetting element for some, but I feel that until the cord is cut, the baby is a part of the mother.)
no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 05:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 05:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 05:41 pm (UTC)If you were a cop, would you rather have a shield or a star for a badge?
no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 05:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 05:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 05:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 05:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 05:51 pm (UTC)I have no idea what that means.
no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 05:58 pm (UTC)I choose C.
no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 06:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 06:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 06:20 pm (UTC)Freud's just to glib, even if he seems lihe he'd be a fun party guest.
no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 06:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 06:23 pm (UTC)and sometimes a cigar is just a cigar
Re: addendum?
Date: 2005-04-04 06:38 pm (UTC)When does the "potential" baby turn into "definite" baby? If we were concerned about this then sex may be abortion already. I know my guys can swim but thousands of "potentials" are gonna get left behind.
My wife disagrees of course. She asked me last night if she was drugged up or unconscious and giving birth and I had to choose between her and the baby, what would I pick? Tough one, if I was in her shoes I’d say give the baby life, but picking between my wife and my unborn is a choice that can never be made even after it has been. Of course it’s all abstract right now. Too many factors would be included in the real life test for me to consider here…
Deep stuff.