6913 - Don't be like Newt!

[scottobear]

Newt Smokes, revised NOT COOL! BAD NEWT! NO SMOKIES!

Comments

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

I knew it.. it was just a matter of time.. First it was assaulting innocent canadians.. now smoking.. That cat is falling in with the wrong crowd I tell you!

bad parenting if you ask me

It's hard to just quit cold kitty....

[missv.livejournal.com]

I was going to suggest that you get him "the patch," but it's probably kinda hard to stick those things to fur (and it'd hurt like the dickens to pull 'em off). Maybe the nicotine gum would be better??

[oneeyedcat.livejournal.com]

hahah no newt no!

Newt Spade, Private Eye

[rejectomorph]

The man had gone off to wherever it is he goes, and I was washed, fed, and bored. I hadn't had a case in weeks, and the naps were getting as old as a senile parrot. I was so desperate, I was eyeing the catnip mouse. I've been down that road before, and it isn't pretty.

Suddenly, there was a scratching at the door. It opened, and she came sauntering in. She was Persian, and under that perfectly groomed fur were the longest gams I'd ever seen on a pussycat. She had a coat a mink would envy, and the sparkle on her collar told me she wasn't about to go hungry. Those rocks were real. She flicked her long, supple tail and purred.

"Mister Spade? I hear you're the best private cat's eye in the business. I need the best."

Something in that voice made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and my whiskers twitched a warning, but I ignored them. She was rich, she was beautiful, and I knew for sure that she was trouble. But that never stopped me before. Trouble is what I'm all about.

I lit another cigarette, and said "Curl up on a cushion and tell me all about it, sweetheart." If I'd known what I was getting into, I'd have hissed her out right then. I should have given more thought to that catnip mouse. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all.

Re: Newt Spade, Private Eye

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

"Are you Spade?"

"I never quite knew how to answer that."

kudos on your noir-kitty skills!

Re: It's hard to just quit cold kitty....

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

Hmm... hard to picture Newt chewing gum, too.

Maybe one of those inhaler-thingums.

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

hmm... I'm trying to think of an "innocent" Canadian.

Re: Newt Spade, Private Eye

[markmywords.livejournal.com]

*applause & laughter*

[markmywords.livejournal.com]

he needs a leather jacket!

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

and a little motorcycle!

http://www.youthofbritain.com/chillout/

Re: Newt Spade, Private Eye

[rejectomorph]

Heh. I considered the spade/spayed pun, but couldn't figure out how to work it in. You found the right way!

Re: Newt Spade, Private Eye

[rejectomorph]

Thanks.

It was the venetian blinds that inspired me, as much as the butt. They just scream Bogart!

Re: Newt Spade, Private Eye

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

Poor ol' Neutered Newt!

Re: Newt Spade, Private Eye

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

All we needed was a slow-spinning metal fan, eh?

Re: Newt Spade, Private Eye

[rejectomorph]

And maybe a goose-necked desk lamp, and a torchiere or two to cast angular shadows on the wall.

Re: Newt Spade, Private Eye

[scottobear.livejournal.com]

ah, yes, then render that sucker in sharp black and white.