scottobear: (naked robot monkey)
[personal profile] scottobear

Doubt me, Mr. Smarty-journal? Quick, go find me a Berlitz course in Belgish.

Everyone knows that Belgium was created by Edgar Rice Burroughs as a fictional European country with colonies in Africa for his Tarzan stories. He borrowed the name from Roman accounts of the Belgi, a tribe of odd people with no language, but a propensity for deep-frying potatoes. "Belgium" would be the mythical capital of the land of the Belgi.

Later, Agatha Christie adopted it as a suitable place for such an outlandish character as Hercule Poirot to come from.

American entrepreneurs from Tarzana dubbed that fantasia of whipped cream and strawberries a "Belgian" waffle. I suppose if they were from Kansas it would have been an "Ozian" waffle.

There are stories in San Francisco of mysterious strangers coming to City Hall from Mt. Shasta claiming to be "Belgians" at the turn of the century.

There are rumors of an unmade 1964 Hope/Crosby "Road" picture called "Road to Belgium," with a series of mysterious deaths and disasters linked to it. The script is no longer on file since any of the originals were destroyed when some pyrotechnic work on "Dogs of War" got out of control and started a fire in the script archives. It should be noted that it was *after* reading the script for "Road to Belgium" that Bing Crosby's problems with drinking and child beating began. And though it is not quite as obvious a symptom, Bob Hope was never funny again.

Sorry, but Belgium is as fictional a place as the seacoast of Bohemia, the desert coast of Florida, or the Big Rock Candy Mountain.

Date: 2002-07-27 05:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] risingentropy.livejournal.com
that's freaking bizarre.

i can't bend my brain around that. ouch.
why, oh god, why?
ahhhh!!!

Re:

Date: 2002-07-27 05:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottobear.livejournal.com
Have some rock candy! :)

Date: 2002-07-27 06:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ziactrice.livejournal.com
You are an evil man, whom almost had me this time.

http://www.lonelyplanet.com/mapshells/europe/belgium/belgium.htm

So there!

Date: 2002-07-27 06:48 pm (UTC)
rejectomorph: (caillebotte_the balcony)
From: [personal profile] rejectomorph
Belgium may be fictional, but the Belgians are real. Everyone who lives within a hundred miles of Mount Shasta has seen them, usually skulking about in the bushes at dusk. They smell funny.

Re:

Date: 2002-07-27 06:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottobear.livejournal.com
are you sure you're not thinking of the waffles?

Date: 2002-07-27 07:07 pm (UTC)
rejectomorph: (caillebotte_the balcony)
From: [personal profile] rejectomorph
No, the waffles have whipped cream on top. The Belgians wear fuzzy caps. (Although the caps might actually be squirrels sleeping on the Belgian's heads- it's hard to see at that time of day.)

Re:

Date: 2002-07-27 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottobear.livejournal.com
hmmm... sounds like french food.

Date: 2002-07-27 07:23 pm (UTC)
rejectomorph: (caillebotte_the orangerie)
From: [personal profile] rejectomorph
When dining at a French restaurant, I always ask them to hold the squirrel. They're as shocked as southern waitresses are when you ask them to hold the grits.

Re:

Date: 2002-07-27 07:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottobear.livejournal.com
hee hee... did they show hogan's heroes in that class, too?

Re:

Date: 2002-07-27 07:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottobear.livejournal.com
as long as you get double snails, to make up the protein!

Re:

Date: 2002-07-27 07:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottobear.livejournal.com
the scary thing is that I was being silly, not in earnest at all.

next thing you'll be telling me that Wyoming exists.

Re:

Date: 2002-07-27 07:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottobear.livejournal.com
http://zapatopi.net/belgium.html

looks like I'm not the first to spread the news!

Re:

Date: 2002-07-27 07:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottobear.livejournal.com
Absolutely...

Have you ever met anyone from there?

I thought not.

Date: 2002-07-27 10:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ldy.livejournal.com
They speak flegm-ish. It sounds flegmmy.

I have gone to this land, and eaten their chocolate and dranken their beer.

Due to all the beer, I'm not entirely certain it was real.

But it was good.

Re:

Date: 2002-07-28 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] risingentropy.livejournal.com
but the bulldogs all have rubber teeth. and the hens lay soft-boiled eggs. among other strange things.

i was only too excited to discover chuncks of the lyric of that testament to american transient history in william kennedy's ironweed.

i had more than a few opportunities to break into song in my literature class last semester.

Re:

Date: 2002-07-28 05:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottobear.livejournal.com
yay! it's a happy place, for sure, for sure.

Re:

Date: 2002-07-28 05:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottobear.livejournal.com
ACh! phlegmish... then, what to the phlegmlanders speak?

I imagine it's a lot like Yiddish after having drunk a lot of milk.

I'm glad you enjoyed your time in the imaginary land. :)

Re:

Date: 2002-07-28 09:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottobear.livejournal.com
right.. along with lost socks.

Re:

Date: 2002-07-28 08:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] risingentropy.livejournal.com
wait, what about the belgian congo?

Re:

Date: 2002-07-29 05:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottobear.livejournal.com
It's like Tarzan's City of gold... loosely based on real locations.

Re:

Date: 2002-07-29 06:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] risingentropy.livejournal.com
ah!!!!
i thought that was a real country, too.
ah!

Re:

Date: 2002-07-29 06:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottobear.livejournal.com
fool you! :)

Re:

Date: 2002-07-29 08:44 pm (UTC)

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