scottobear | 6752 Morbidity, dead stuff in general. (Reply)

Once upon a time a little old lady was on a bus, who ever so slowly bought a transit ticket from a bus conductor. She fretted and fussed with her gigantic purse for the correct change... After 15 minutes of impatient waiting, the conductor became so enraged that he hit her on the head with the ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear died instantly.

Not surprisingly, he was convicted and put on death row. Just before he was to be electrocuted, his last request was for 12 pounds of bananas, which he devoured.

They strapped him into the chair, flipped the switch, and he just sat there, smiling. According to tradition, this was considered a reprieve from God and he was freed.

Somehow he got his old job back, and he was happily dispensing tickets when he saw a girl stick her gum on the back of a seat on the bus. Furious, he lunged out with the ticket dispenser, broke the offender's neck and killed her.

Again, he is convicted and sent to death row. He again ate the 12 pounds of bananas, and lo and behold, the electricity did not harm him. This time the executioner cleaned the contacts, made him sit in a bucket of water, he tried everything - but still the guy wouldn't die. So again, he was set free.

Amazingly, he regained his job. It took him 1 day to lose his temper and beat to death a young boy who started to chew his bus ticket. He returned to death row, ate the bananas, and survived the electrocution.

At this point, the executioner can take no more - his professional pride has been hurt. Before setting the fiend free again, he asked him his secret - "What is it with the bananas?"

"Oh, the bananas have nothing to do with it", replied the man. "I'm just a bad conductor."

Whenever you see a hearse go by,
you're sure to be the next to die,
they wrap you up in a big white sheet,
then drop you down about six foot deep.

All goes well for about a week
and then your coffin begins to leak.
The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out,
in your stomach and out your snout.

One little worm is timid and shy, in one ear and out one eye.
then your stomach turns slimy green and oozes out like whipping cream.
Your eyes fall in and your teeth fall out
and thats the end of you no doubt.

The worms crawl in,
The worms crawl out,
The worms play pinochle on your snout.

They eat your eyes
They eat your nose
They eat the jelly between your toes.

Your eyes fall in
Your teeth fall out
Your brains go tumbling down your snout

They go in thin
They come out stout
And that is what it's all about.

My first memory of Marlon Brando - A Mad Magazine digest's Parody of The Wild One.

Note, July 31st's free double-feature in the park at 100 East Las Olas Blvd. 8 p.m. Blackboard Jungle and 10 p.m. The Wild One.

I wonder How much more of a turnout there'll be as a result? Delinquency Special!

My second memory of him was Jor-El in Superman. I can still quote him in that. "This is no fantasy - no careless product of wild imagination." I suspect Zod has bittersweet tears...just a bit, this week.

My Most Recent? The Doctor in The Island of Doctor Moreau; not such a great finale. (great book, however)

Don't Forget! Today Is FREE COMIC BOOK DAY!

Want to know where to go to get your free comic book?

My long weekend is kind of stinky, primarily due to the fact that I'm on call from 8am Sunday Morning to 5pm Monday Night. If I want to do walkabout, it'll have to be today. That's why laundry got done last night. Let's see what walkabout brings me today.

Until Later, Dear Journal!